The Shots rang out! A Parents Nightmare!Children should be viewed as OUR collectibles. They are frail and cannot be replaced. As parents we invest an enormous amount of time, energy and money to ensure that our children are loved and safe.In the wake of the events in Littleton, Colorado, I felt compelled to write this article and share my feelings. I realize that this article may be disturbing to most and I apologize if it upsets you. As I sat for hours and viewed the disturbing news my heart became heavy and troubled. I witnessed the stress and disbelief in parents' faces and wondered if this could be me one day. I'll agree it's a morbid thought but it also should be viewed as realistic. As a parent I find it necessary to openly communicate with my children. We discuss tough issues, some which may be embarrassing and difficult to address, but cannot be ignored. Last night during a discussion with my thirteen-year-old daughter, I was put on the spot and at a loss for words.My daughter expressed her concern about our country's inability to protect our students. She asked some of the following questions.
A. Why are we fighting for the rights of people in other countries when we cannot even protect our own?B. Why is it a law in most states that seat belts have to be worn, but they are not mandatory on school buses? C. Should we be forced to attend school if we do not feel safe?D. Why don't all schools have metal detectors?I could sense the urgency and troubled feelings she was experiencing, but unfortunately had no answers. All through the evening I kept visualizing the concerned look on her face and the questions she had posed. As I lay awake half the night pondering the evening's events, I came to the following conclusions. We cannot expect our school systems to be responsible for student behavior. Children go to school to get an education and hopefully pick up good social skills. What we can, and should expect, is for our school system to protect our children to the best of their ability while they are attending school.I would like to offer a few suggestions that would make parents and students feel safer at school:Once all buses have unloaded and students are safely in the building, lock all entry doors with the exception of the main door into the building. Monitor or alarm entry door kept unlocked for visitors or students arriving late.Do not assume that students are not concerned about their safety while in school. Students will be reluctant to approach a guidance counselor with their safety issues. I strongly suggest that you form some sort of open forum where students can discuss topics openly. The school should announce a topic and allow students to compile questions or concerns that can be discussed during the period.I strongly encourage all school districts to review schools that have implemented uniform policies. Although uniforms are not the choice of many students, statistics have proven that schools with uniforms are less violent and rank higher in test scores. Set up a school hot line number where children feel comfortable sharing news and their feelings. Children do not feel comfortable addressing these issues during class time, for fear of being singled out by other children or being called a snitch.Consider making it a school policy that all shirts must be tucked inside of pants. Styles of baggy pants and oversized shirts can lead to concealed weapons. As parents, we need to get INVOLVED! The bottom line--we need to clean house and reevaluate the teachings and raising of our children. Society has become lax and has taken a blind eye approach to our teens. Parents feel compelled to become their child's friend instead of taking on the challenge of being a parent. Teens lack the respect and discipline, which is greatly needed during these troubling times. Some suggestions, which should be considered, are as follows:Use your time wisely and productively. Non-working parents should consider volunteering at least an hour bimonthly, or as necessary, to monitor school hallways and bathrooms. Your child's safety should be your number one concern. Do not allow it to become someone else's responsibility! Take charge and become active in your school system. Don't allow what happened in Littleton, Colorado to happen to your school. Prove to your children that you have their interest at heart! Do NOT view discipline or respect as violating your child's rights! It's your right as a parent to know as much information as possible. You can start by monitoring their TV time and quality of shows, which they are viewing. Be firm! Remember nobody ever said that being a parent would be easy! If your child is currently viewing a program that contains, violence, adult content or graphics you may want to address it immediately. Here's a scary question. Have you ever heard the type of music your child listens too? I'd venture to say that many of you shut the door and walk away. It wasn't until recently that I had an eye-opening experience. My seven-year-old son purchased a CD with his own money. I was not with him during his purchase nor was I aware of the CD until I heard the music. The CD was of a popular music group that contained a sound track song from a movie that my son enjoyed. I quickly learned that the remainder of the CD contained offensive language, suggestions of violence and was inappropriate for any age. I sat my son down and explained why he was not allowed to listen to this CD and then I confiscated it. To tell you how naive he was, his main concern was how he would be reimbursed for the CD I took away that he paid for with his own money. At the time, that was the least of my worries! Days later we sat him down and talked again, I reminded him of the very valuable lesson he had just learned. I suggested that he NEVER purchase any CD, video or movie without me being present. I reminded him that his mistake cost him $13.95A parent should view videos and movies before any child has access to them. Do not assume the ratings on any such product are accurate. We recently purchased a game for our entertainment system. The box suggested that the game could be viewed by all ages. There were no signs or symbols to indicate that the game was offensive in any way. We quickly learned that what may not be considered offensive to some was very offensive to us. The games contained strong language and some violence. This game was also confiscated. I offer a strong warning about your child's freedom on the Internet. Although the Internet provides a vast array of assorted topics, it also can be very damaging for your child to view. Consider limiting your child's use of the Internet to homework assignments or only during time of supervision. Children are curious and are aware of sites they should not be viewing. These sites become attractive while parents are away from home or simply not paying attention. E-mail can lead to links of adult's sites without your child having any warning. Discuss the use of the Internet with your child. Explain the dangers and encourage them to use it wisely. I strongly encourage parents to become familiar with their children's friends. Invite their friends into your home, communicate with them and establish a friendly environment. Do not be quick to judge! You may not like something you see in a child but your own child may view this child differently. Do not try to pick your child's friends. Allow them to make their own choices and only offer guidance and suggestions. Trust your child to eventually make the right choice. If your child chooses to hang out with another child that you disapprove of, investigate the situation. Call the school guidance council and voice your concerns. Talk with other friends of your child to help calm or verify your concerns. The best thing you can do is react; the worst thing you can do is not pay attention or get involved. The choice is yours and yours alone! Many children are given an excess amount of freedom or liberties that can lead to mischief and possibly harm to others.Unfortunately over 50% of all households need a second income in order to survive. Children are being left unattended in alarming numbers. Children often want to establish independence at an early age; parents must determine how much rope they are willing to give before they reel their children back in. Many parents view their children as being responsible and capable of being left alone. I doubt very seriously that any children between the age of 9 to 12 are responsible for anything other than being a kid. Are we forcing our children to grow up too soon? Are we allowing them choices that should not be offered? Do we really take into account the numerous amounts of dangerous situations that could occur while this child is left alone? From what I've viewed, I'd have to answer NO to all of the above questions. I have witnessed children crying on their way home for fear of being left alone. I have heard of children being left alone for hours at a time completely unsupervised. Parents must face reality and wise up. Although you may trust your children, do you honestly trust the people around them? Children often brag about being left unattended. This may eventually lead to your worst nightmare! Unattended children only spell out one thing, TROUBLE! What's more disturbing is I have often overheard mothers make comments that they choose to work in order to get away from their children. These comments infuriate me and prove that some parents are lacking in communicating and disciplining their children. Children often use violence as a form of expressing anger and feelings of being abandoned. If you must leave your child for any period of time, consider alternatives such as sports, hobbies or even a visit with a friend or relative. Do not leave children unattended for any length of time. Maturity can often be determined on an individual basis but can also be very misleading and sporadic. Do not ever second-guess your maternal instincts and allow your children to cry their way into a situation which you may ultimately regret. Many warning signs are ignored and occasionally confused with mood swings. Parents must be able to decipher which is which. Consider taking the time to educate yourself and ask questions. Become familiar with the following signs:Isolation -- If your child has a tendency to isolate themselves from family and friends, you may want to investigate. Do NOT confuse isolation with private time. Children often wish to experience private time for reading or just gathering their thoughts. Isolation should be viewed as a child always wanting to be alone. If your child isolates himself or herself in a basement or bedroom, you should consider investigating. Do not ever feel like you are violating your child's privacy or rights! It's your right and duty as a parent to always know what your child is doing and feeling. Depression -- If your child becomes less interested in usual activities or shows signs of hopelessness and irritability, they are probably experiencing some sort of depression. Many other signs can often be related to depression and should not be ignored. Changes in appetite, weight, behavior, change in sleep pattern and negative comments are all cries for help! I encourage parents to get involved. If we do not take the time to protect our children, who will? After experiencing a very restless night, the next morning I called the school's guidance counselor. I discussed my fears and acknowledged my willingness to help make our schools safe. The counselor suggested that I gather my daughter and her friends and allow them to openly discuss their fears and offer recommendations for solutions to make them feel safe at school. I called many parents, voiced my concerns, and informed them of a meeting I would be having. This meeting will be structured around certain topics of concern and will allow us as a group to address these concerns. Our next plan of attack will be to meet with the school board and inform them of our feelings and ask for full cooperation in regards to these matters. We can no longer afford to sit and wait; we must act now to ensure our children's safety! http://www.house.gov/judiciary/310.htm Targeting Violent Gangs, Guns and Drug Crimeshttp://www.ed.gov/offices/OSERS/OSEP/earlywrn.html A Guide To Safe SchoolsSafe and Drug Free School Program 1-safe.htmlSchool Violence http://www.walcoff.com/partnerships/This article was written by:Janie E. Daniels/AKA Ms. JanieCopyright protected April 22, 1999OH NO YOU FOUND ME!!!
OH NO YOU FOUND ME!!!